I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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