I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
