Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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