I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
