I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
