If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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