My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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