Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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