More tranny stories later!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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