I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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