Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
