try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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