Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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