I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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