I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
