Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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