Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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