So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
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