shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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