at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I looked at my own cervix.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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