I need help removing her.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
