porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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