my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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