apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
