i just had sex bonerless
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she told me i tasted like america
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
