she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My bed smells like the plague
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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