I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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