Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
