Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
