did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
