we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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