On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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