Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
