so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
