This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
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YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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