did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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