I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
