Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
