Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize