I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
