i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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