I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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