her vagine was all disorganized.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
