508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
