i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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