and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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