I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
