wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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