you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
