i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
