Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
