Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
