it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
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his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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