I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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