dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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