5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
