my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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