i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said her name was "party"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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