Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
