i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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