i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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