it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
