just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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