if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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