am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
