I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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