this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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