I can't watch pbs sober anymore
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
