Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
