He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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