you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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