i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
