Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
