is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
two words...techno handjob
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
