i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The uberlube is also flammable
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
