I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize