idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
