dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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