worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
