I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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