why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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