Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
