i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
