I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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